chocobo will solve your problems

doggone scoundrel done me wrong, ran over my truck with a baseball bat and boiled my hats in milk

I'm not sure why, exactly, but I'm suddenly possessed of this strong feeling that it would be good to do this: I guess I was just sitting thinking about how, over the years, I've matured a lot, and in the past I've done a lot of dumb things to a lot of people that I now no longer identify with or think were fair. And I've probably done a few dumb things in these past few years, as well. And, you know, there are probably people out there who still think I'm a jerk for having done those dumb things; and while this may or may not prove them wrong, if they still harbour uncomfortable feelings about my jerk-i-tude, it'd be good if they could get them off their chests if they wanted to, and things.

So, basically, a Screw-Ups I Have Made Amnesty Post. Comment here if you have a gripe with me (or any of my system), past, present or (for those time-travellers and precognitives among you) future, and I will do my best to either apologise and make amends, or, if I don't feel like it's something I can apologise for right now, then hush up, acknowledge your gripe and reflect upon it. I will do my level best not to be confrontational, and if you don't want a response, say so.

Comments are screened; I'd prefer no anon, because it doesn't really help me to know that I did something that I now no longer remember to an unspecified someone. If you want a response and don't think I have your contact details, drop me an email address or something so I don't have to unscreen your comment.

(Also, this isn't me fishing for a wave of "no, really, I can't think of anything bad you've done ever!" comments. I really do want people to 'fess up to what still bugs them about me.)
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shooting star

post of survey

Who has a Dreamwidth account?

I'm doing the crosspost thing to keep up with, or in anticipation of keeping up with, a few people who've moved. I cannot guarantee I will add you, because it's friends-only (or access-only, or whatever fancy terminology DW uses) and while I don't really talk about much that's private per se, I've found I'm more comfortable with a smaller audience. I decamped to a smaller journal on LJ with a very small group of people a while back, and if I didn't tell you, it was because I was getting a feel for who would end up commenting and whether their personalities would get along and how much I'd be comfortable writing.

I may add more people; I may not. But I'd like to know who has a DW account, anyways.
chocobo will solve your problems

PSA: LJ is tinkering with outgoing links. Here's how to fix it.

Since I haven't seen this elsewhere on my friends list, shatterstripes mentions a sneaky little piece of LJ ad trickery and links to a simple admin-console fix.

This affects all accounts, including paid ones: by default, outbound links to certain sites are being pushed through a site that generates revenue for LJ, and also breaks any links that partly pattern-match with one of the sites they're checking for (e.g. is parsed as an link). So if you want to generate your own revenue via affiliate links, LJ is blocking you from that without telling you and while deliberately obfuscating the fact that it's doing so. Fun times.

So yeah, spread it around.
i see fictional characters

Have a community. ♥

unsentfiction: write letters to fictional characters.

Open to plurals, open to people who just want to shout out into the void, open to everyone. No heavy moderation, no big fuss over who counts and who doesn't: just people sharing their thoughts.

Link it around, tell your friends, all that good stuff.
shooting star

Dragons, sleeping.

A thought that came to my mind:

That anyone would believe themselves to be a dragon is, the more I think about it, hardly surprising. What is surprising is that anyone ever believes themselves to be human.

For what is this form but a transitionary one?; what are we all but beings caught between falling angel and rising ape, not a thing in our own right but full of the characteristics of both? (It seems no coincidence that human, in games, is usually the race with no particular outstanding traits. Because we are not an endpoint, a species in our own right, but a step on the road, not beginning or end but intermediate. Homo erectus and his ilk came closely before us. Spiritual evolutions will closely succeed us.)

Are we not all, as philosophers have said, spiritual wonders of unfathomable complexity living human lives? And in that spiritual realm which birthed us forth, in that spiritual realm towards which we gravitate invariably, are things not so curious and diverse that it would be quite ludicrous to say we are bound by our human forms; bound to this ape-evolved body alone with its particular instincts and quirks, rather than able to sample from and enter into the vast palette of wonders that is all of animal life and more? Are we not ludicrous to say that the forms of angels, gods and Buddhas are humanlike alone: that we will not someday perhaps be dragons, or unicorns, these mythic images that our consciousnesses seem to repeat?

They say dragon myths are based on dinosaurs. But why then, instinctively, do we still ascribe a certain set of characteristics to the dragon that we cannot to the lumbering land animal from which it was supposedly derived?: nobility, magic, power backed by keen insight and intelligence, a status of near-godliness in our mythologies. The "illusion" has been "revealed", yet we can't get away from the idea that dragons are special. How much more contrived the unicorn: just a horse with a horn, a clearly artificial amalgam, in truth perhaps a goat or broken-horned ibex glimpsed from a particular angle, perhaps a narwhal looking like a horse on the waves. A child could see through it. Yet though the trick has been exposed, that holds no power over us. Our hearts know that whatever inspired the unicorn is real, realer than the sad fiction of a broken-horned antelope.

How do we know? How do we know anything but that with which we are directly in contact? Maybe our hearts are telling us that we will be these powers someday; that we will walk with the grace of unicorns, fly with the wings of dragons. These Otherkin experiences seem like no past lives to me, but future visions; for she who imagines herself to be Cleopatra rarely wishes to be so again, but the one trait these experiences invariably have in common is a longing to transcend beyond the human. It is a looking forward, not a looking back.

In that vein, it would seem only sensible to me, from a spiritual perspective, to long to be dragon (or whatever else; and it would make sense of the fact that over the course of an Otherkin individual's life, there are often a lot of "whatever else"s identified with). It's hardly arrogance; it's a simple admission of the truth of all people, that we are at a point on a continuum whose endpoint will blossom out into something much greater, much vaster, than we can possibly imagine right now, but of which dragons are just a taste. --And when you think about it, that makes all the debating in Otherkin circles over who's a "real" dragon, fairy, etc. and who's not quite ridiculous. Would you deny any living creature its truth: that it is a life designed to transcend someday into magnificent, magical form? There are those who understand themselves poorly, and feel themselves poorly, and exhibit none of the characteristics of a magical being; but that does not mean they are not dragons. They are merely dragons, sleeping.

Even the cruellest of humanity will someday ride the skies of a grander world, majestic and lovely, unburdened by their previous pettiness. And they'll laugh at this idea now; and they'll laugh at it then, too, in a different way, but they cannot deny they dream of it. They cannot deny this magic is made for them, too.
chocobo will solve your problems

So I kind of only use this journal for asking people stuff these days....

...but at least this time it's not for me.

My friend luna_manar is moving due to a sudden job transfer, which sounds like something she's been really wanting to do and which will be really good for her, but she doesn't have the money for the downpayment on the new place-- so she's asking if anyone can spare a little money for donations to that cause. I just wanted to pimp it here to see if anyone else could help her out.
burny burny death

In which I am a shameless leech. Hey, it's also called "grassroots social support"?

So the patchy wireless I've been leeching off in my new abode for the past few days... kind of went away. They were supposed to have the internet set up by today, but the actual BT line is broken and the BT engineers need to come and poke it, which won't happen until Monday. (Nall, please say they are coming to fix the line and not just test it, or... or my head will explode. MY HEAD WILL EXPLODE.)

It's Friday. I'm leeching an hour of internet at Coffee Republic. I require sanctuary.

So my question of you is: is there anyone in the UK (preferably the south of England, as that's where I'm currently stationed, but I'll travel within reason) with a couch and wireless who'd be willing to put me up for a few days until BT get their act together? I am clean, quiet and fully intend to sequester myself in a corner with my laptop and stay out of people's way, though if you've really been wanting to meet me or something, I'd be good with taking you out for dinner or such as recompense. But I'm pretty socially burnt out, in all honesty, so this is kind of a last resort.

Rawr. <3

[Edit: Got a mobile broadband dongle at Vodafone. Crisis averted. All is good!]
in the darkest hour, hope springs eternal

Help me find my old porn?

Okay, so: way back in 2004 I wrote a story called Pack Dominance, which was hosted on Erica's and my old site, I'm hoping it's on my external drive at home, but I'm feeling paranoid and I don't have access to that right now, and isn't helping, so just in case... I know at least kawakiisakazuki and mousse9 read it, according to the comments, so if either of you two think you happened to save a copy and keep archives that far back, could you check your archives for me and see if you have it? The filename was probably "packdominance", minus file extension.

It was one of the very few NC-17 fics I've ever written, and it means a lot to me, so if you can help me find it at all, that'd be awesome.
spike-filled-pit factory

Quick PSA: pointy things!

So, lately a few of you might have been pinged as to the idea that I'm exploring the more feral side of myself, and to this end, I dropped by (in person, as being over in CA right now, I actually could) a place I've hovered around online for several years making wishful sort of eyes at but have never actually bought anything from, Psykic Fangs. The store's owner and designer can create custom fangs and full-mouth sets to pretty much any specification, from a variety of vampire and werewolf-style sets to cat, shark, rodent and other animals, as well as imitating the trademark look of a particular character or working from your completely custom design. This guy's even got fangs in there styled after unicorn horns-- it's crazy.

Well, I went down, and he was such a friendly and reassuring individual (even when I gagged on the dental mould something awful) and got everything together so swiftly, and as we were chatting he told me that a friend of his has been suffering some pretty severe financial problems and he's trying to help her out, and business has been really slack because of the economy and he's been having a sale to try and increase it, so he was glad I came by. And so I thought, you know, I like doing people a good turn and he seems the kind to do others a good turn and I really sympathise with that, so least I can do is give him a bit of a plug on my journal. I don't have the fangs yet (they'll be ready on Friday), but the work on his site is all seriously fantastic, so... if you have fantasies of being any sort of bitey, pointy creature, whether of your own invention or something existing, check out the site, especially since it's now a lot cheaper ($55 per set, by default) to get hold of a pair of custom fangs.

I'd make this entry seem less like adspam, or at least say a little more about the work I got done, but... I'm tired and goopy-headed. Goooop. But I do hope this helps the guy and his friend out, at least.
burny burny death

Phone death

My phone's officially gone kaput: the SIM card seems to be broken. I don't use it enough to warrant getting a replacement, so I'm out of touch by phone and text for the foreseeable future. c*o*r*i*n*c*a*t*at*g*m*a*i*l*dot*com* is where to find me if you need to contact me; with the exception of travel I will be checking this email regularly (and I usually check periodically even while travelling), so this is a decent emergency contact. There's no way to get to me faster.