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Writer's Block: om nom nom

"Describe your perfect sandwich, layer by layer.", says LJ. Okay, then. This I can do.

Take one slice of (preferably brown) bread. Spread one side fairly lightly with a vaguely butter-like condiment that is not strictly butter. But none of that weird olive oil stuff. Plain margarine will do. Then, dust the spread surface liberally with grated cheese. Cheddar is ideal, or another hard cheese of similar variety; Brie does not go in a sandwich. Optionally, add onions. Then prepare another slice of bread with margarine in the same or similar manner to the first. Place, spread side down, on first slice. Cut in half. Marvel at its simplistic, unadorned beauty and perfect balance of flavours. Eat.

Do not at any stage in this process add mayonnaise, for it is an abomination. Do not add gratuitous salad. Do not defile the sandwich, but respect its holiness and purity. Amen.

(Yes, this has been my favourite food since I think I was... one year old, when I miraculously discovered at a friend's birthday party the wonders of cheese. I'm slightly obsessed... and also off to get a sandwich.)

Comments

( 5hp damage — Attack! )
terra
May. 27th, 2008 04:37 pm (UTC)
YES!! Mayonnaise IS an abomination, I've been trying to explain it as such for SO LONG. Thank you!!
sci
May. 27th, 2008 04:43 pm (UTC)
I object!
Brie does indeed go in a sandwich! Thinly sliced on hot bacon, with mashed avocado!
seika
May. 27th, 2008 07:17 pm (UTC)
Mayonnaise is not an abomination! It's essential for egg mayonnaise/egg salad, which is Awesome.
eclective
May. 27th, 2008 07:26 pm (UTC)
Ah, yes, but it's an abomination in sandwiches. It's just like how, you know, your fist isn't an abomination, but in the vicinity of someone's jaw, it becomes one. :3 Pumped in the air after getting out of bed first thing in the morning and having your HP/MP restored, though, it's a perfectly fine thing!
electrictroy999
May. 28th, 2008 10:55 am (UTC)
Perfect sandwich?

bread.

meat.

No butter. No lettuce. Just bread and meat. Anything else takes away from the purity of the meat as its juices run down your chin.

( 5hp damage — Attack! )

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